This one-shot is a very short dribble that I wrote not long after some things happened in my personal life. It is using the SVM characters, and I own none of them. Writing this has helped me a little. This story is obviously not a depiction of what happened to me, just letting some of my emotions out.
I took in a deep breath… it didn’t help.
How could he do this to me? How could he claim to love me – want a life with me – and then hurt me this way?
I could feel the tears building – tears I did not want him to see.
“Sookie… please look at me.” I cringed at his sweet voice. “I love you, Sookie. The queen’s orders were put in place before I knew you. I didn’t have a choice.”
I put a dam up to block my tears. He would not see them fall. I looked at him, blocking my emotions as best I could.
“Stop Bill – stop right now. You had plenty of opportunities to tell me the truth and you didn’t. That was your choice. Maybe if you had, things could be different. As it stands, the reason we are through is YOU.” I wasn’t sure if the part about things being different was true or not, but it didn’t really matter.
“Sookie… please…don’t give up on us. I love you. I won’t let this end. This is what Eric wanted when he forced me to tell you the…”
I saw red. “Go ahead and finish that statement, Bill. ‘Forced you to tell the TRUTH.’ You would’ve never told me if it weren’t for Eric discovering your lies. Don’t you dare make this about Eric, he didn’t ruin us… you did that all on your own. You have no one to blame but yourself. Now, leave me alone, Bill. I don’t want to see you again.” I was fighting my tears hard. He had to leave soon because I couldn’t hold them back much longer.
He grabbed my arms, “No, Sookie, I will make you understand! I. Love. You!”
“No you don’t, Bill. Now let me go!” I screamed.
He let go of my arms, still professing his love. I’d had enough and knew there was only one way I would get him out of my house. “Bill, I’ve tried talking to you, but you won’t listen, so – Bill Compton, I rescind your invitation! Get out of my house – NOW!”
That mysterious magic he had no control over pulled him out of my house. He stood on the edge of my porch, still begging me to listen to him, but the damage had been done. There was no way I could ever trust Bill Compton with my heart ever again.
I made it to my bedroom before I broke down. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I had never felt as alone as I did that night, lying in my bed, sobbing. All I wanted was someone who would love me and not take advantage of me or use me.
After a while, I felt a sense of calm and couldn’t figure out how in the world I could feel calm at that moment. I was trying to get myself under control when I felt the bed sag a little and saw an arm go around me, pulling me back against a cool, hard chest.
I let out a long sigh as my breathing calmed enough for me to speak. “Eric.”
“Lover, I felt your despair and tremendous hurt. You were practically screaming for me. I am – sorry.”
I turned to face him and was amazed when I saw his eyes rimmed red. He really was sorry I was hurting. I didn’t want to talk about it. I had one simple request and he was the only one I wanted to fulfill it.
He pulled me closer to him and whispered “Always” as I drifted off to sleep, with him stroking my hair. I felt loved in that moment.